The Melanie Avalon Biohacking Podcast
The Melanie Avalon Biohacking Podcast

Episode 1 · 3 months ago

#161 - Dr. Sheryl Ross: She-ology, Sexual Health & Wellness, Fertility, IVF & Egg Freezing, Improving Painful Sex, Safe Sex Practices, STIs & Other Infections, Sexual Identity & Gender, And More!



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4:50 - FOOD SENSE GUIDE: Get Melanie's App At To Tackle Your Food Sensitivities! Food Sense Includes A Searchable Catalogue Of 300+ Foods, Revealing Their Gluten, FODMAP, Lectin, Histamine, Amine, Glutamate, Oxalate, Salicylate, Sulfite, And Thiol Status. Food Sense Also Includes Compound Overviews, Reactions To Look For, Lists Of Foods High And Low In Them, The Ability To Create Your Own Personal Lists, And More!

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10:30 - Dr. Sherry's Personal Story

12:00 - Have Our Attitudes Changed About Women's Health Over The Years?

14:00 - Oppression And Suppression In Politics

15:30 - When Should Women Begin Gynecological Care

18:45 - Developing A Relationship With Your Gynecologist

20:00 - Defining Vulva Vs Vagina

22:10 - Confronting Shame And Stress

25:15 - What's Normal? Dealing With Infections

29:20 - Ph Balance

31:00 - Is The Vagina Self Cleaning?

32:45 - The Best Products To Clean With

33:20 - Coconut Oil As A Lubricant

34:25 - Does Wetness Correlate To Arousal?

35:30 - Bicycling And Other Sports

37:30 - Does Sexual Activity Effect Fertility?

40:00 - Amenorrhea

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43:45 - Freezing Your Eggs

46:35 - IVF

47:30 - Inequality For Sexual Medications

48:50 - Oral Contraceptives For Men

52:00 - Safe Sex Practices, How To Bring It Up

55:45 - Testing Men For HPV

1:02:45 - Genital Warts

1:03:20 - Has The Timeline For First Periods Become Earlier?

1:04:35 - Is There A Best Period Product?

1:08:20 - Is The Vaginal Canal Smaller In Some Women?

1:09:45 - Dilators

1:13:45 - Painful Sex

1:14:45 - Masturbation

1:16:05 - Sexual Dysfunction

1:17:45 - Sexual Identity And Gender

1:19:40 - Sexual Assault

1:25:20 - Stress Test, And Heart Disease

1:26:45 - The "Mona Lisa"

1:28:30 - Pubic Hair Removal

1:29:40 - Being An Egg Donor

Of them to never talk about their Volba or vaginal health with anyone, not even their healthcare provider. I love egg freezing. Women are very busy now thinking about having a family. It can be put on hold, which I think is really, really fantastic. You can't be naked in the bed and then be like, oh, by the way, what do you got? Over forty, where you lose estrogen, the vagina gets very, very dry. We just have questions and we want answers and I think there's a huge movement for changing the narrative. Welcome to the Melanie avalon bio hacking podcasts, where we meet the world's top experts to explore the secrets of health, mindset, longevity and so much more. Are you ready to take charge of your existence and bio hack your life? This show it is really please keep in mind we're not dispensing medical advice and are not responsible for any outcomes you may experience from implementing the tactics mind. You're are you ready? Let's do this. Welcome back to the Melanie Avalon biohacking podcast. Oh my goodness, friends, today's episode is so, so valuable. I'm becoming increasingly more and more passionate about women's sexual health. It's something that I feel like I was sorely lacking for a very long time, and I think a lot of people are. I am so grateful for Dr Sherry Ross for all of the knowledge that she is empowering women with, as well as just the confidence and feelings of empowerment she's giving. Along with that. Her books are so fascinating. Oh my goodness. She answers all the questions about everything going on down there, and we talked about a lot of it in today's episode. I think you guys are going to love it. Even if you're a man, keep listening. I'm sure you'll learn a lot about the ladies in your life. This is definitely a do not miss episode. The show notes for today's episode will be at Melanie Avalon dot com, slash she oology. That's S H E o l o G Y th. Show notes will have a full transcript, so definitely check that out. There will be two episode giveaways for this episode. One will be in my facebook group. I have bio hackers. Intermittent fasting plus real foods plus life. Comment. Something you learned or something that resonated with you on the pinned post to enter to win something that I love, and then check out my instagram, find the Friday announcement post there and again comment to enter to win something that I love. If you are enjoying the show, it would mean the absolute world, world world if you could take a brief moment and subscribe in Itunes and or write a brief itunes review. It helps so much more than most people realize. So thank you so much in advance for that. Avalon x updates. I am so thrilled that you guys are enjoying my magnesium eight. I'm getting so much incredible feedback about how it's improving your sleep and your motility and your muscle recovery. Magnesium is just shockingly important. It's involved in over six D in sematic processes in the body, so basically everything that you're doing requires magnesium and most of us are deficient, so it can be really important to take a daily supplement to top up our levels. I wanted to make the best magnesium on the market and that is what avalon x magnesium eight is, I promise. It has eight forms of magnesium in their most absorbable, bioavailable forms, as well as the CO factor B six in its methylated form, not the non methylated version, which you don't want, which could actually potentially cause a problem, as well as key related manganese. Since magnesium can actually displace manganese. It has no problematic fillers, including rice, which is very common, and a lot of supplements on the market, or something like new MAG which is not magnesium. It's actually a combination of things like rice brand and seed oils. My avalon x magnesium eight comes in a glass bottle to help prevent leaching of plastics into our bodies and the environment. It is tested multiple times for purity and potency and to be free of all common allergens, heavy metals, mold, all the things. You can get it at avalon x dot us and the Cupon Code Melanie Avalon will get you timper cent off. That Cubon Code will also get you temper cent off my Sarapep days. Friends, you guys know I love Sara Pep days. It is a proteolytic enzyme created by the Japanese Silkworm. It is a wonder. You take it in the fasted state and it enters your bloodstream and breaks down problematic proteins in your body. It will clear your sinuses like none other. If you struggle with allergies, take this now get off those allergy meds. It'll clear brain bog. Studies have shown it can reduce cholesterol and even break down amyloid plaque. It also may enhance wound dealing and calm inflammation, remove fibroids and so much more. 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...may be reacting to like gluten, Lectins, oxalates, solicillates, soul fights, fils. Fod maps whether or not something is a night shade and so much more. You can learn about the compounds, create your own list to share and print and finally, take charge of your foods insitivities. It is a top itunes APP. I just checked and it is number twenty in the itunes food and drinks charts. You can get it at Melanie avalon dot com, slash food since guide. And one more thing before we jump in. If you're listening to today's episode, you may be a little bit concerned with things like fertility. Do you know what can have a major, negative, detrimental effect on our fertility and the health of our babies? That would be Indo condstructors. Do you know what is one of our largest sources of exposure to Indo condstructors each and every day? That would be our skincare and makeup. Did you know that Europe has banned over a thousand compounds found in conventional skincare and makeup in the US due to toxicity? And, as it turns out, ladies, when we have a baby, a huge portion of our toxic burden from these compounds goes through the placenta into the newborn. So, if sexual health and wellness is important to you and the sexual health and wellness of future generations. You've got to try to remove intercontustructors from your life. Of course, we love skincare and makeup right, so that can be difficult. Thankfully, there's an easy, easy solution, because there was a company that was founded on a mission to change this. Beauty counter makes skin and makeup products that are tested multiple times to be free of end contustructors. Those are those compounds messing with your hormones. They can also be obesigens, which literally cause your body to store and gain weight, and even carcinogens linked to cancer. But beauty counter didn't want to just make products for you of this. They wanted to make products that are actually amazing. Yes, their skin care lines will revolutionize your skin. I use them every single night of my life. I love the overnight for surfacing peel and the vitamin C serum. The reflect effect mask is amazing, and their makeup is incredible. Check out my instagram to see what it looks like, and yes, it is amazing makeup. Tina fe even war all beauty counter makeup when she hosted the Golden Globes. That's how amazing it is. You can shop with me at beauty counter dot com slash Melanie Avalon, and if you use that link something really special and magical might happen. After you place your first order, new customers can use the coupon code clean for all thirty to get thirty percent off site wide. You can join my email list. That's at Melanie avalon dot com slash clean beauty. I give away a lot of free things on that list, discounts, sales, specials, samples and so much more. So definitely get on it. And you can join my facebook group clean beauty and safe skincare with Melanie Avalon. People share product reviews and I do a giveaway every single week in that group as well. And lastly, if you're thinking of making clean beauty and safe skancare a part of your future, like I have, I definitely recommend becoming a band of beauty member. It's sort of like the Amazon prime for clean beauty. You get ten percent back in product credit, free shipping on qualifying orders and welcome gift. This worth way more than the price of the year long membership. It is totally completely worth it, and I'll put all this information in the show notes. All right, without further ado, he's enjoy this wonderful conversation with Dr Sherry Ross. Hi, friends, welcome back to the show. I am so incredibly excited about the conversation that I am about to have. So a little backstory leading up to this conversation. I guess I should start by saying I really loved my upbringing and I'm I'm so grateful for my parents and my school and, honestly, the majority of what I experienced in life. But I have always thought that if I were to change one thing about my upbringing, it would have been the approach to sexual health and wellness. Growing up. So I grew up in a very bible belt Christian south community. So sex was a a topic surrounded in shame and guilt and even the concept of going to a gynecologist I didn't like, and I don't know if my friends did either, because there is this whole idea that I guess going to a guy INA coollegees swould, I guess, encourage kids to be having sex, I guess was the idea there. So since then, where I'm at now, I'm so, so passionate about sexual health and wellness, and not just my upbringing. That whole concept I think culturally there's still a stigma that saturate society and ongoing, like I mentioned, like a shame surrounding the topic, and I just think we need enlightenment and empowerment for women to take charge of their sexual health and wellness. And so I've been wanting to do an episode on this and a mutual friend, Dr Caroline Leath, connected me to Dr Cheryl Ross, who is honestly the perfect person to have this conversation with. She's a legend in this world. So she has two amazing books. The first one is called theology, the definitive guide to women's intimate health, and then she has theology the she equel. Let's continue the conversation. She's definitely a celebrity guynecologist. She has many celebrity clients. She's been all over the news so many different platforms...

...and TV, and we'll put more about her bio in the show notes. I read the books and she covers so much and I have so many questions. So, Dr Ross, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me my I love to discuss these topics and I'm so glad you asked me to be on your show. I'm I'm really, really excited about this and we've talked before this. We are both fellow Trojans from USC so that's very exciting. So, to start things off, your personal story. I don't know how common it is that people like, when did you want to become a guy in ecologist? When did you first become interested in this whole world and this whole topic? I feel like it's not that common for, you know, people to want to turn into their career. So what was your story that led up to this? Well, I mean, you know, my dad was a doctor. I used to go Sunday mornings on rounds with him and so I was exposed to medicine from an early age. My uncle wasn't orthopedic surgeon and I just felt like medicine in some some way to give give people hope and direction and give you know, sort of as a career, felt really empowering to me. It wasn't because of the Jelly donuts and the doctor's Lounge, which my dad would say was the case, but I really loved the idea of medicine and I hadn't really chosen the specialty. I always thought it was pediatrics, but women's health was. First of all, it was really happy kind of based, since you were delivering babies and they really weren't too chronically sick. So it felt like a profession that would be really rewarding in a lot of ways and it would be more on the happier side of medicine and not chronic illness. So that that's sort of how I, you know, chose medicine and then chose Ob du I in I'm actually super curious just in the trajectory of your career, speaking to what I was just talking about with the approach to female sexual health and wellness. So from the beginning of when you started practicing until now, have you seen a lot of changes in knowledge and just how women like freedom and speaking openly about all of these issues? Because, I mean, maybe I'm biased with my upbringing, but I still find that there's like secrets surrounding all of this and I don't know why. Well, I'll tell you you know. The answer is that, yes, there's been such a change in in focus and mainly interest, because I think the last couple of years with, you know, sort of black lives matter and the meto movement, just every area of sort of women feeling marginalized has come to light. You know, the politics of the day another way that women have been sort of thrown backwards silence, felt embarrassed, felt less than and I think, you know, the actual part of all this and sort of the sexual awakening has come on stronger than ever as well. So women have a lot of needs to be heard. They have a lot of questions, because we have been made to feel shame shameful of of a lot of things about ourselves and our bodies. And whether it's been an ongoing cultural you know, sort of keeping US suppressed, or what the issues have been. You know, we just have questions and we want answers and I think there's just a huge movement for changing the narrative, changing, you know, what has sort of been the norm and and that's really exciting to see that, despite feeling sort of getting pushed down. You know, Roe v Wade, I think, is the best example of that. So so, yeah, there's there's an interest, there's a need, their desire and there's a will by women and men to to sort of, you know, be good partners. Something you mentioned your book that blew my mind. There was a proposed bill at one point to ban the word vagina. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah, you know, it was. You know, back in two thousand and twelve. You know, they were discussing cases on the floor, you know, the government, and you know. Well, it doesn't shouldn't surprise you sort of in the midwest that you you know, to say the word Vagina, you know, on the on the floor passing a bill. was was, you know, a No. No. It really speaks to what's happening in our world. You know, it's, I think, the for us in today's world. And I of course in California, so I feel we're a very liberal state. But when you hear what's happening in Texas, Missouri, Ohio, Florida, I mean it's shocking to how women are second class citizens and everything surrounding our bodies, I mean talking about the vagina, wow, you know, talking about pregnancy and women, you know, choice and you know it's it's not okay... so many people and and to me it's just shocking and there's really no you know, sort of getting equality amongst men in positions of power is it's so obvious more than ever that you know, we we need to fight stronger now than ever, I recently had Dr Laurie ments on this show and she wrote a book called becoming clitter it and we had a lengthy discussion about even the word Vagina. How that's an issue because we don't even have different terminology to describe the different like the setup down there, and we basically call everything the vagina. I've been super aware of that recently. I'm like, am I calling my calling it the right thing? Um? So, in any case, I guess again, going back to the way I opened this show, it never occurred to me to be seeing a gynecologist growing up. So what should the appropriate timeline of seeing a gynecologist actually look like like? When should kids even start seeing a oncologist? Well, it's a great question and and a lot of it too now depends on the pediatrician, because a lot of pediatricians are doing adolescent medicine. They feel comfortable with their you know that their doctor someone. As soon as you get twelve, thirteen or you get a period, you know they're punting you over to the gynecologist. So thirteen to fifteen can be sort of an age that that's recommended to see a gynecologist. And Mind you, you're not going for a public exam, at least, you know most gynecologists. No, you don't really need a public exam. It doesn't even have to be an exam. Like I like to meet that age group and just sit across my desk and, you know, have a conversation with them so they feel comfortable. It's about establishing a relationship, I mean, that's really what it's about, you know, and then easing into, you know, coming back and showing them how to examine their breasts and showing them taking up the mirror and going over their Volva and talking about all their lady parts and using the right terms and the names. So, you know, this is all part of this vagina revolution, our Volva Revolution, I should you know. It's we as healthcare providers, as you know, mothers to daughters, as as Godmothers, as best bffs to to our, you know, two daughters of our friends and so forth. We need to start teaching the right terminology so that this group of women, the next, you know, the next generations, learn their you know, what is down there and what they should know about all those areas. So seeing gynecologists at thirteen, you know, to fifteen can just be meeting, can be going over anatomy and you know, yes, we'd get it closer into periods, of course, and we talked about being you know, as far as sexual issues comes a little later. But you always want to be a good resource for this group of young women because sometimes their MOMS, you know, sometimes their MOMS aren't even comfortable talking about their bodies and what's normal what's not. So you know, it's it's a grassroots movement. Truthfully, Melanie, of how to me the guynecologist is so important in any in the life of a of a you know, a new beat to the gynecologists, I think, especially because I feel like I was slighted and I'm like okay, like this is an education I should have had, and also because you mentioned it just now, but you talk about it a lot in the book, and that is that relationship that you form with a gynecologist, and it kind of reminds me how, like with a therapist, how maybe you don't need a therapist for any acute issue right now, but it's nice to have one in your life ongoing and then if something does come up, now you have that relationship, you know, there, and so I like I need a guy of collegist relationship in my life, for when these things come up, it's sometimes hard to find. I mean even you know you're searching through your your healthcare provider Book and you want it to be a network and you know you're not getting good referrals from your girlfriends. And you know I find the yelp reviews to be really helpful. I do. I find them to be so helpful as far as you know, picking one because you know a lot of women, women never talk about their Volva or vaginal health with anyone, not even their healthcare provider. So you know we have a kind of a broken system and if the average time a doctor spends with the patient is seven to eleven minutes, like that's not very much time to really dive into any sensitive issues. So it's it's really no wonder that women think we need better education surrounding our VOLVA and Vagina. We definitely probably should establish this. So VOLVA...

VERSUS VAGINA? What do they mean? Yeah, well, you know, so it's true. I mean the vagina used to be sort of what we would just call anything below, you know, the belly button, and it was confusing because and it led to other issues, you know, as far as cleaning your vagina, so really everything on the outside, everything that has the lips and the hair and where the urine comes out and the clitterest and the hood, and that's the vulva. That's the external genitalia. That's that's Vulva, and that's really where all our issues come from, whether it's etching or dryness or, you know, our sexual health right of course, comes from the clitterest and the reptile tissue and the vaginal opening. And some people don't even know where the urine, you know what whole where the urine comes out of. So I love seeing this group of women, the young ones, and being like hey, you know, do you want to just take a mirror and look, and will say us, you know, and they're fascinated because it's so important to know what is going on, what's normal, because if you don't know you're normal, you won't know you're abnormal. So I find it very, very important, you know, to do that exercise. The Vagina is really just sort of the area of the cavity that leads to the cervix and the uterus, and that's where the baby, you know, comes out of this is the vagina. So it's very important to know those the separation of church and state. For sure, the Volva is important to know. And if you haven't, if all your listeners, Melanie, haven't taken that mirror and taken a look, and believe me, I pulled out to my fifty and six year old women and they haven't. They've been like, Oh, I've never looked down there. So I don't want your listeners to be one of those women that haven't taken a look. So basically, when we say vagina, that's like the sexual reproduction part, but everything else vulva or the external it's interesting my personal experience with the mirror thing because I identify it's like I don't want to look and I think it's just come from my upbringing, like it's a very visceral shame type feeling. So I've been very fascinated by that and would love to resolve that. There was so much post traumatic stress around the VOLVA. I mean we're like, you know, this is just a source of an issue where we're also sort of trained to, you know, think about porn and social media and beauty and a lot of women are like, you know, a lot of women don't like their vulva. A lot of them think something's wrong and maybe their partners have made a comment. You know, when I wrote the perfectly, which was about looking at your vulva, one of my little, you know, seventeen year old patients said, oh my know, my boyfriend told me my coach, you know, it wasn't sexy and I needed to do something about, you know, my oversized, you know, Lips. And I was like what and we, you know, we looked together with the mirror and everything was normal. But, you know, because a lot of us are so influenced by what we hear what we see. You know, we all want, you know, Jenna Jamison Vagina Lips like on, you know, porn or heather, you know, storey Daniels or well, whomever. You know, we're very much affected by what we're hearing and of course it's wrong information. And you know, always say, you know the no two snowflakes are alike. Well, that's the same with your Volva. The lips of the vagina, the inner ones and the outer ones, they're meant to be different and a a symmetrical, just like balls. I mean testicles too, man. I mean you know, some people don't think those are so pretty. So, you know, it's it's everything that comes intos. You know, has, you know, usually has. They're never identical and it always some asymmetry in some way and not equal in their appearance. So and pressed too. Yeah, everything, everything that's in pairs and press are a good example of that. So we all kind of wonder. We all have a lot of curiosities. But again, you know, because of cultural and religion, religious, you know, you know, issues that we've all been brought up by our parents who they have their own issues right surrounding sexual wellness. I mean it really gets passed on with a vengeance. So I find that, you know, in two thousand and twenty and and the millennials and the Gen X, I mean there's there's a lot more like hell no, we are not. You know, this is stopping. You know, the you know, status quo is changing and you know, we are changing this narrative and everyone's leaning into it and it's such a great thing. I mean the majority...

...and we have this little minority that's, you know, controlling other issues like really V way. But it's, you know, again, I really believe the majority here will prevail speaking to the quote normal. So how intuitive is that? Because I know, for example, you're talk in your book about one of the most common problems we can have down there is yeast versus bacterial infections and a lot of women think automatically it's east, but we should check because it often might be bacterial, for example. So just stuff that we can experience down there. Like is it intuitive, like well, we know if something is off, or is it possible that we have no idea? Well, you know, like you think you have an itche you're like, Oh God, I have a yeast, or either going to get modest dad and CBS or you're calling your doctor and because you know it's and it's or scratch really may not even be an infection at all. You know, Classic Yeast. You'RE gonna have a kitchen, you're gonna have a thick, cred white discharge and maybe some redness, but the truth is that can be bacterial and it's a completely different treatment. So in a perfect world, you know you have, you know, an itch and it's not because you've been, you know, bicycling or spinning for the last you know, intensely for the last week, or have other reasons to have discomfort. You know if it's maybe you've been on antibiotics or maybe you have a new sexual partner, because that can bring on, you know, either a used or bacterial infection. If you can go see your doctor and get cultured, that's going to be your best I am impressed with some of the over the counter test kits that you can buy now that can maybe detect yeast or bacterial presence. Those sometimes can be helpful, you know, and calling your doctor and be like Hey, I can't come in because I'm working or I can't get an appointment. Sometimes it's not a bad alternative because it's sometimes you just don't know, I mean, and me think you know, but you don't always know what that itch means. This is just a quick rabbit hole question. Is it true that cranberry choice is good for Urinary Track Infections? You know it's yes, it can help. It can definitely help it. There are better things if you, let's say, you don't want to get on antibiotic. I mean the truth is, if you have a true bladder infection with the most common bacteria, E. Coli, growing crazy in your urine, you're gonna need an antibiotic. You know, you can drink cranberry juice, take the cranberry you know tablets, but it's not going to treat it. So that's so important to know. That D Manitol is a great way to prevent U T E S. I would vote for that before cranberry tablets. You can get it over the counter now. It's it's fantastic. So cranberry tablets is not my go to. But if anyone has burning with urination frequency, that feel they have to pee and only a little comes out, they've been with a new partner or they're masturbating with something inside the vagina, you know, all these things can disrupt the Ph balance and it can, you know, kind of push bacteria equal I into the bladder, which is the most common bacteria, and you do need an antibiotic for that. So just so you know, that's important to be aware of. Well, I actually got a whole new appreciation recently. You were talking about the itch scratch or scratch itch cycle, because I'm like very food first and holistic and as much as I can like to use quote natural remedies. But I recently got it wasn't on my volb up. It was on my elbows, but it was some sort of rash and I realized just how important it was to have a topical steroid because if I didn't stop that itching, like it was not going and scratching. I mean it was quite possible that I resolved whatever sparked it, but until I stopped scratching it, it was not gonna, you know, heal. And I was like, okay, this is a perfect example of the very appropriate. That's my it G V right there. I mean I think, you know, we have to realize that. You know, the balance balance in life is really important. I don't care what we're talking about, but balance in general. And the thing is there's the Ph balance of the that area, Volva, Vagina, is super sensitive. So, you know, we we start to look at, you know, little things. You know that what can cause dryness. I mean you you use the wrong bubble bath or the wrong soap or you're taking an antibiotic. That just throws off your page balance and it can lead to irritation, infection. Drying is burning, and not even with a you know, no back, no yeast or bacteria, it's just dryness. I am so all about treating our Volva with the same feminine hyggene routine as we do our face, because that area is equally... sensitive. I mean you have to clean it, hydrate it, moisturize it with the same love and attention we give our face. We don't think about it that way, but I'm trying to create sort of this movement, because if you do that, if you are hydrating your Volva, you know you're not going to have the dryness or irritation. I mean, certainly you need products that are kind of made for that area, but itching and dryness and burning, I mean those can come up from dry skin and that might have been what you had using over the counter. One hydrochordin zone is fine. It's totally fine, but how it overlaps and affects your ability to work out, I mean how it affects your ability to want to have sex or masturbate because of the irritation on the skin. And speaking to the cleaning, so two questions I bet you get asked us all the time, but it's they say the vagina is, quote, self cleaning. Is that a thing? Yeah, I mean, that's that's totally one that I get all the time. You know, and this is part of you know, a lot of the questions is that if you think about, you know, the VOLVA vagina like a self cleaning oven. You know the oven is self cleaning, but you self clean the stovetop and and that is how I'd like to refer to it because, as to we started in the beginning of this conversation, we used to call down there vulva, a vagina. Everything was vagina. Well, you know, vaginas are self cleaning, right, they like tears in your eyes. You know that it does. The discharge inside the vagina keeps it clean. So that's why we don't like to Douche because if you do that, that can get rid of this great community of bacteria inside the vagina itself. But the outside, ladies, the Volva, the Laby Manora, the laby majority, that's the vulva, and the clitteral area, the clitteral hood where the urine comes out, the urethra opening, that needs to be cleaned. There are products that are going to be you know better than others. You know you want. You want to use products that are vagina volva friendly. So it's important, and I'm all about using extra virgin. You know, coconut oil to hydrate and moisturize the outside of the you know, of this Vulva area, lady Manora and Majora, where a lot of itching and irritation, you know, comes from. So it's very important to prioritize cleaning the vulva. I use just completely uncented plan castell soap. Is that okay to use? It's probably fine. Yeah, if it's, you know, uncented, I don't know if it's drying to the skin. But you know, there are a lot of sort of gentle non fragments so that you can use. Taking a bath with twenty minutes with a handful of extra urgent coconut oil. It's very hydrating, two to the skin and and it it's it has sort of a it's antibacterial effect too. So you know, non scented soaps, doves a good one as well. And how about coconut oil as a lubricant? I remember the first time I tried it for that and I was like Oh, I was like why, why have I not been using this? It's it's the clouds part usually with I know. I was like, what is happening? This is amazing. Yeah, it's really it's a little you know, I think it's great. I mean I I actually if I had to bring one product on a desert island, it would be extra virgent coconut oil. So many things you can use it for. Oh my gosh, it's it's so great. Yeah, it's a great lube. You can't use it with condoms. I think that's the only downside because it can, you know, sort of affect the integrity of a condom, so you have to sort of be careful with that. But if you're in a study relationship up and you just want a good lube and you know everyone loves lube, it's not. You know, that's another sort of taboo that people think using a lube, you know, might mean to your partner you're not getting as excited or they're not doing their job right, but it just makes sex so much better. I mean Lube feels so good on the VOLVA. It's just it's a win win. Guys like it, to guys love it. Does wetness correlate to level of arousal at all, or there's so many factors that are affecting wetness that you can't really make any judgment. Yeah, that that's another myth. You know, because not everyone gets as wet as others, and it really doesn't. I mean some degree of lubrication and wetness does show that you're being, you know, stimulated emotionally and physically right. I mean our sort of path to getting where we need to go is very different than guys and it take a long time. So it's one of...

...those things that it doesn't necessarily mean. You know. You know because you hear how some of your girlfriends are still get so wet and it's like a lake down there, but not not for everybody. It doesn't always equate. You mentioned in passing earlier. You're talking about swimming and biking and things like that. So something that has haunted me for a very long time. When I was young, my grandmother made a comment at one point about the dangers of biking because of how it would affect my lady parts, and I have wondered to this day was that cultural or is that actually an issue? And you do talk about how biking and things like that might and exercise can affect everything. So do we need to be concerned as women, with our our activities are exercised? So I wrote a chapter called the sporty the and it was. It was really how you know, again, the Volma is very delicate and temperamental and it can be affected by you know, every day exercises, whether you're, you know, spinning or cycling or, you know, on long bike rides, even even horseback riding. You know, you can have saddle injuries. Some women who bike ride a long time get numbness of the Vulva and men to actually so. So it's true that that can actually happen, but it's not like it's going to permanently, you know, make you have problems, having an orgasm and so on. I think if you're going on long bike rides or you're sitting and spinning and have discomfort, it's good to take a bath, you know, afterwards with extra virgent coconut oil. It's good for you know, just ventilating anyway and moisturizing, because that constant pressure on on the Vulva can cause, you know, irritation. Numbness insists. So it's it's it's true that at that moment, but it's not lifelong. I think you're you know, your grandma might have also contributed to some of the myths that we that were that we're hearing about and learning in our in our later years, how how it's affected US emotionally inspectually. I remember she seemed very, very concerned about it. So you just spoke about the constant pressure and stuff. So this is a broader question that I've wondered for a long time. I'm really fascinated by the evolution of the human species and how so much of our bodies is all really about having a baby, like it's about fertility and reproduction and that's like the in goal of of our bodies from an evolutionary perspective. So I know fertility and in fertility is a very nuanced, complicated topic. Do you know if there's any relation to a woman's fertility or how late in life she can have a child or how early she enters menopause based on how much sexual activity she's been having? Like, does the body interpret having sex a lot is keeping that system going, or is it a completely separate timeline not related to, you know, what we're doing? Yeah, I mean, I think to sexual activity. I don't think it has a play. You know, we talked about the number of ovulations. You know a woman has if they're on the pill. Does that affect fertility? I mean the thing is is sort of born with, you know, hundreds of thousands of eggs and by the time we're really able to use them, you know, there is sort of a timeline. The biological clock is just sort of true in general. I think that's more relevant than, you know, how often or frequently we're having, you know, sex, okay, and so. And if a woman has a minorrhea and it's not releasing eggs, does that push back the timeline at all or what happens to those eggs? Yeah, I mean, so a man areheas where you don't get a period, and you know, you sort of have to look at the causes of that because there can be many. And if you think about it, some women who are on the pill have a manorrhea. Right, they don't. That's like that's a known side effect, right, which can be normal or you can, you can have an I U D and You can, you know, not have a period and that's a menorrhea. Those a man arheas are okay, right, but the kind that you're talking about is, you know, if you don't it's usually if you don't ovulate, you may not get a period and you might hear your friends like I don't. I haven't had a period in the year and that's really not normal. You know that. That would not be normal. So I would sort of want to you know, separate. You know, if you're on the pill or you're on some people who have next play on or you know, or on certain medications or Prevarre, they may not get a period and that's something that we're causing as doctors. So if you're not, it could definitely affect your fertility. It would. It would be a bad sign for your fertility if you had a menorrhea. That's not caused by anything. So for women on the pill who have a Menoria from that, what is happening to...

...those eggs? Are they just sitting there? Well, yeah, they're sitting there. I mean, if you think about it, the pill it's meant to make you not ovulate, right, so that's how that's its mechanism of action. That's how it works. So if you bleed each month, that's kind of a separate issue. But everybody on the pill, by definition, is not is not ovulating. Where that helps is for ovarian cancer. It helps if you don't ovulate a lot so it's a protective thing. If you want protection against ovarian cancer, you go on the pill. It does help that, you know, as an example, but it really doesn't have a place with fertility. Do you know why that is with the cancer connection? Well, it's just it just has to do with the ovulation, the use of the ovary. You know how how, how much it's working? If it's not working that much, that's a good sign that. That's what I was wondering. Well, you know, it's a good sign for that over and it's sort of the future statistic for getting ovarian cancer. 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When should women consider that? is their timeline for when it's too early too late? I feel like I should probably look into this. I love egg freezing. I just think it's the the best form of family planning that you can ever ever have in your life. I mean it's really taken family planning into a whole new conversation for egg freezing, and we are seeing it, you know, so often now, which is which is great, or at least women are talking about it, and I think it's just it's so, so, so important and it's part of birth control. I mean it just has to be part of the conversation. You know, in your twenties, late twenties, it has to come up in the whole conversation of family planning. You know, it's like techno family planning, but it's you know, the best age is going to be like thirty one, two, thirty seven, thirty eight, but if you're talking about it in your late twenties, you know it's it's you're creating that road map right, you're you're you're talking about it. You're either in a relationship or you're working or, you know what, women are very busy now, so thinking about having a family, it can be, you know, put on hold,...

...which I think is really, really fantastic. And how long, well the eggs last? I mean technically the freezing of eggs has really changed a lot in the last had, in the last five years. It's it's elevated to even a better you know, staying power, freezing power with these eggs and defrost and you know, whether it's ten to fifteen years. I'm not quite sure how long, but it's somewhere in that range, maybe even longer. And it just evolves. You know, the infertility and freezing process evolves. And you know, we're seeing companies like facebook and apple, who are you know, they're embracing and protecting a women's choice to delay Motherhood by paying for egg freezing, and I'm hoping that that's gonna become more of a common service that jobs offer women. I mean, I think that's just so forward thinking. So we're freezing eggs now without, you know, with with, with really a lot of confidence. So it's really conversation in late Twenties, definitely early thirties, and and really thinking about it. I mean I think the biggest barrier is cost, because it is about fifteen thousand dollars to tend to, you know, twelve to fifteen thousand dollars to go through the entire process. Is it something that is at all covered by insurance? Well, we're you know, we're not seeing it yet. Slowly, I mean it's interesting. We're seeing IVF. Some some plans cover a cycle of IVF in vitro. I'm hoping we see it. You know, again, it's all about women and making them equal, making them feel equal in the workplace. I mean now women are our CEO s were we have seats in the boardroom. You know, women have a presence and I think it's going to be related to advocacy that we have to fight for a lot of things. Having your company or your insurance policy, you know, pay for a cycle or two of egg freezing, you would think would happen? They pay for Viagra, right, you think that? You know, at some point our needs, needs would also be met from the Insurance Angle. Yeah, that was something a little bit mind blowing. You talked about in the book was the amount of medication or studies done for things like Viagra and supporting men's sexual performance compared to women having sexual issues. It was like one thing that had issues even getting past I think. Yeah, I mean it's there's a lot of sexual inadequacy and in in sort of the bedroom. When it comes to medications, if you know, the FDA has approved over twenties six medications for men to the one or two that they have approved for women. I mean this is just an ongoing ing, you know, sort of problem of you know, sort of this unequal playing field on every level when it comes to women's health, women's medications, you know, women's everything compared to men and and that that again is sort of this cultural change that we all have to fight against. We have to let people hear our voices. We have to get you get to the voting poll so that we can support politicians that are gonna put our needs at the same level of importance as they do for men, and also male versus female oral birth control, because is there an oral option for men? I know there was like one in development, or I thought there was. Yeah, there is one in development. It's not out yet. I mean it will be so interesting. I feel like I've heard of this for like years and years. I mean it's hard enough to get them to wear a condom. You know, I I really I think it's going to be an other push, but they're working on it. They're definitely working on it. They've been working on it for a while. Well, I will, I'll be very excited about that. So something you mentioned earlier. Well, first of all, S T I s versus s TVs. Are Those the same thing or this different? Yeah, I mean so, so, you know, it's basically the same thing. I think you know, sexually sexually transmitted diseases was a term that you know. It's not really a disease, you know. So it's more of an infection. So I think it was was you know, it was interchangeable. I think the preference was sexually transmitted infection just sounded a little better and I think it encompassed it better as well. And it's confusing on how often you should get tested. You know, what saves sex is so it's really glad too, to speak to some of these these things that you you had asked about. I remember growing up again, another thing that we were taught in health class. Well, we were taught that condoms don't protect at all against stds, and I remember thinking...

I was like, so does the sperm just magically can't get through the condom, but the disease magically does get through the condom? Like it made. It did not make sense to me, but I know that they don't protect. Just looking back, yeah, it's confusing for sure, but it's such an important part of conversation. Is You know what is safe sex practices mean? I think that's important because condoms are, you know, they're used to prevent S T I s, right, but there they're really not a great birth control protector because of the high failure rate. I mean they I think some are preventing pregnancies around because they break and that's one of the things. And as far as preventing S T I s, well, yeah, they can prevent certain ones, you know, with a little more confidence. But HPV, you know the word virus, and herpies, which can be on the testicles, are the base of the penis. They can be easily transmitted that way. So it's really important to know that. And I might add to you know condoms. You know, you talk about safe sex. It's so important to know. Well, safe sex is really using a condom with vaginal sex, anal sex and oral sex. I mean I don't know anyone that you know has given head with the condom on. And you know, women, if someone is giving you oral sex, you're really meant to use some sort of protection. So a dental damn. Not a lot of women know what that is, but you know it's a latex covering. There's also a company called laurels that they have like latex underwear that you can wear when someone is giving you oral sex. So it's just important. I mean it's it's helpful for preventing certain S T I. S. Yeah, this is actually something that's haunted me a little bit because I think women, well, I'm not in a man's body, so I don't know the different experience of experiencing oral sex, for example, or just normal sex with or without a condom, but we've been told apparently it's much less pleasurable for them. So I think that's something that women might struggle with, you know, wanting to provide the pleasure but then also wanting the protection. How do you navigate that? Yeah, I mean I do think I've heard this before and and the majority of couples do not practice save sex. For sure, I believe a couple of things. I just think it's important to, you know, make sure, if it's if you have a partner as male, that they get the right size condom and the right kind. There's many different kinds. I just think it's I think it's important. I think it's you know, it's so important that women are protected against HP TV. It's the most, you know, really most common, especially transmitted infection out there. Women men carry it. Men very hard to detect on their penis or, you know, a testicle area. Women, Luckily we get to find it on pap smears because otherwise you don't know if you carry it. But problems this melanie is that HPV is associated with cervical cancer, anal cancer and oral cancers. So it is important. So what I say to the man that says, you know, I don't have you know, it's great of orgasm. I'm like, okay, well, you know then we're not going to have sex because my life matters. You know, you look like you enjoyed it, you know, with that ejaculation, but I don't know, I just think that there has to be a conversation around it. This is a helpful reframe for me because I've really wondered this because I I so want to use condoms for everything that you discussed, but then I just feel really bad if it's like not as good of an experience for them. But I was asking one of my not romantic but one of my platonic male friends this question. This was just his opinion, but he was saying that, yes, it's not as pleasurable with the condom, but it's more pleasurable than like just being with a woman compared to like by himself. I was like, okay, I'll take that reframe. That's a good one. I like that. No, but I mean it's listen, it's, you know, the conversation with a new partner about protecting each other against s t I. is it. It's it's so awkward and it's so uncomfortable, of course, but we all have to sort of make it more mainstream and it shows, honestly, you know, respect to really be straightforward to each other and sometimes you have to start it, because I think it's very forward thinking. If you have something you know in the past, whether it's HP v or her pies, you know you...

...need to sort of talk about it and I think you have to talk about it before you get into it, you know, you just you can't be naked in the bed making out and then be like, oh, by the way, what do you got? You know, I think it's where, maybe it's hopefully after a couple of days, that you feel it's going in that direction and you know and you are in a good place and you can start, you know, talking about it. You know, I think it's better to do it with clothes on. I think it's important, but I think it once we make it more automatic and more common, it's going to be okay. Well, do you think this is something that there will ever be? You mentioned that with HPV for testing for men, it's not really an easy process. Can then even get tested for it, and do you think there'll be an evolution in that that technology? Yeah, that's a great question. The answer is, you know, my HPV, it's such an elusive little virus because you can't see it really. I mean there it used to be and sometimes you get a little little small piece size, little white they look like little cauliflower gross on the outside of the Genitalia, but it's for the most part it's going to be living on the cervix. Sometimes men they can get it under there. If they're uncircumcised, it can be in their foreskin. We use sort of a vinegar solution called the CCETIC acid to bring it out on the cervix. When that abnormal path happens, we look for HPV there, but for men it's hard to it just doesn't have this it doesn't work the same way to put acetic acid on the penis. We just don't see it and that's why men, you know, they transmit it so easily because it's just never found. They don't have a path equivalent like we do. So it is it's very it's hard that way to find it. I don't know if in the future that there will be something a swab that can detect it down the road. You know, we're just now talking a lot about anal pep smears because we're seeing an increase, a decrease in cervical cancer because the HPV vaccine has been so awesome. You know, it prevents now of HPV strains from passing along, which is so great. It's protective against so it's working. But you know, with oral sex we're seeing more, you know, throat cancers and with anal sex we're seeing more rectal cancers. So in the gay male population they actually get screened, they'd have anal pep smears and that's how they're detecting it. But you know, we just it just hasn't happened that way. And women are having anal sex. You would think that that the guy in colleges could say hey, you know, are you having anal sex regularly? Because if you do, maybe we should do an anal. Perhaps that conversation is not happening either. Wow. Okay, if you follow up questions to that, I think. I always just thought that these tests were swabs, but they're visual. They're looking for things visually. Well, they know. I mean they are mainly microscopic, for sure. You know. So perhaps smears you're not going to see. You're you know, you're not gonna with your visual you're not going to see HPV and you know, the Anal era. You're not gonna see HPV. You're gonna SWAB at first. There are HPV legions that are little quliflower legions that you can see, but those aren't always the one that are gonna increase your riskis cervical or anal oral cancers. Okay, I want to invent an at home sti test kit that people could take it home because, like you said, it's such an awkward conversation and for people, because I think a lot of people just don't ever ask for it. Is it a diff local process for people to go get tested and get a clear bill or not, like the actual process, like, is it usually covered by insurance? Well, so here's the here's the problem. So one thing is, you know, how often should you get S T I tested? And really you want to be tested once a year or in between partners, you know, or if you have you know any any you know any symptoms or you've had unprotected sex. That's sort of the Times you go. Now one of the biggest myths that I hear jazz means crazy. They're like, Oh, I just met this new guy and and we use condoms the first few times, but then he got tested and he was negative, so now I don't use now we don't use condoms. Well, here's the RUB HPV and herpies cannot be screened for and men. Well, yeah, or a well really, yeah,...

...certainly in men, but even with, you know, women, but it's really with more with men, but even even women, if you're with a female partner and she's like I was st I tested. We you know, doesn't mean that she cannot give her partner HPV or her piece. So that's the problem. I mean you can never say that, because I've been tested. Now I don't need, you know, for their any any use of of a protection, whether it's a condom or dental damn or any type of latex protection. Female Condom too, is another is another option. I just think today's world you just have to think that way and protect yourself and you know, like sexes is one thing, but getting an abnormal pep smere, I mean that is a whole another thing that causes a lot of distress. So it's eight people have it already. If you already have it, does it make it worse getting exposed to it again? Or once you have it, are you well, yeah, I mean the problem is, once you you know, you don't. There's so many what we call high risk strains. Hundreds. You know. We sort of know that there are, you know, sort of more higher restraints. Six, eleven, eighteen or a few of the more higher restraints. So it's it's hard to know what strain you're getting. Now when you get an abnormal path and they're like, okay, pre cancer cells, you know, mild displasia, HPV present, they'll say high, high risk type. So when they say high risk, you sort of know it's this family of of you know, the six eleven, you know eighteen, sixteen. There's a group of high risks types versus low risk, like you can have a normal path and you can have HPV, but it may not be of the higher risk variant, in which case it won't take over normal cells and make them abnormal. You know, and I think this is the fact that young girls and boys, you know, ten eleven, Twelve, Eleven, twelve, thirteen, are getting the vaccine. Like hopefully the just this trend of lowering cancers of the cervix will will continue. I think we're more concerned with cancer of the anus and Penis and, you know, throat. We're going to start to see more of these because of people not practicing safe sex. And one more question. Warts on the hands. Is that related to the sexual version or is it? I had those growing up and are you asking for a friend? No, no, I'm asking for myself. I remember, like when I was like in elementary school, I had warts my fingers and this girl walked up to me and told me that I needed to get those removed right away because it wasn't fair to other people and it that scarred me for life. I was like what, they can't make engangous, but not of the eight variant. We were talking a little bit about the menstrual cycle and periods. Something I'm confused about is they say now that girls get their periods earlier and earlier, but then I've heard that back in the day, evolutionarily we were having children really early. So how has the timeline of getting one's period changed and is it abnormal the way it is now? So it's that's a really interesting question and what we're seeing, I mean most sort of the typical age for periods is eleven to twelve, but the range is like eight to fourteen. Part of what triggers the body? You know, from sort of a homeoone level, to get a period. It has to do with your body weight. That's one of the triggers. So if you're really thin, you know you may get a period closer to fourteen or fifteen. If you're heavier you might get it earlier, eight or nine. And what we're seeing. I mean this is going to kind of go back to sort of this epidemic of obesity amongst kids and certainly ethnic wise ethnicity, we're seeing it more in black and Hispanic cultures, where there might be a higher risk of obesity childhood of obesity. And we're seeing periods coming on early, earlier. And then when it comes to experiencing our period, how do you feel about the different options available to women? So paths versus tampons versus? Now there's, you know, Deep Menstrual Cops, Diva Cups. Is it really just whatever we feel like? is T SS, Toxic Shock Syndrama, a big concern? Yeah, you know, it's always a concern. I mean I think that the great thing is there's so many options now for you know, what we can use to collect blood. You know, I think for the eleven or twelve year old, using a pad is, know, feels about right. I'm always surprised...

...that, you know, younger women who are using tampons. I mean the key is the conversation. You know, how do you prevent odors infections? It's, you know, and and toxic shock and it's you know, you want to Change Your Tampon or pad every forty eight hours and that a Tampon should never be left in for more than eight hours. It's sort of like just some basic stuff on on hygiene, you know, and and changing those whatever you're using. The Cup is great too. It's I mean I have patients that love the MINSTREL Cup. It is like this's your favorite thing because it's so easy to use, you know. Well, for some, you know, it's natural and environmental mentally friendly. It's certainly more cost friendly. It's it's healthier. You can leave it in for twelve hours. Well, Tampon you can only leave in for up to eight. So at nighttime it can be super convenient. So people do love that. I mean you have to be very vagina friendly to use it, because some people feel like it's like a circusalet move putting it in and taking it out. I haven't used one, but that's what I've heard and it's like yeah, and you're a little more prone to yeast in bacteria infection, but it's I have people that love it. I mean they just think it's best thing and you can actually, you know, it's not indicated to where with any you know, sexual activity, but you can. I remember when I was using tampons when I was really young, early on, I I accidentally put in two tampons without realizing it. I didn't even realize it and then I realized it later I was like, oh well, I hope that wasn't bad. And then more recently, one of my friends now she had she's my age, but she had not used tampons before and she just tried one and she thought she lost one in her vagina. She actually didn't and never come out of the applicator. But do you see that a lot with patients either losing tampons thinking they lost tampons? Oh my God, yeah, I'd see it all the time, all the time, so I know it's yeah, we kind of call it a lost Tampon. And you know what happens because well, for all those reasons, I mean, you know, you're out to dinner with your friends, maybe you've had a cockteller to you're like, how did I put it in? And then you don't see the string and and then you know you're like you just don't remember, and then all of a sudden you get sort of this you know, Brown discharge and an odor that smells like you're, you know, at the edge of a fishing pier and you can give an infection. You go to the doctor and I find them all the time. And yes, you can't lead the toxic shock, but it's you know, fortunately, if you ever think you've lost one, just, you know, squat down, wash your hands, get your pointer finger and your your middle finger and just feel around. I mean you can feel if something's back there, because it never you're never it's never a bad thing to really go up there and, you know, feel around, because it can be really dangerous. And then, speaking of sticking things up there, so I think this probably goes back again to my upbringing. I don't know how much it was my emotional response versus my just well, that's actually a first question. Before I asked this question, do women have different sizes of Vaginas? Likes the whole, smaller for some women than others, like substantially. Well, you know, I think that if you aren't having much activity, you know, and that could be with, you know, any kind of object right. It could be a vibrator, it could be a penis, it could be fingers, it could be a cucumber for all I care. You know, it doesn't really matter. If not much is going in there, then the opening is going to be smaller and that and that's, you know, very, very common. So you know, I can tell when I do a path if someone's, you know, had two or three vaginal deliveries or if someone really hasn't had, you know, much going inside the vagina itself. So, and this is this is a reference, you know, my second book I wrote a chapter called the Collapsed v collapse of Vagina, and it it related to, you know, collapse of Vagina can relate to a virgin, someone that's never had anything, but you know, someone that hasn't had regular intercourse at all, you know, or maybe it's been a year since they've had anything inside the vagina, and that could also be, you know, a collapsed opening, because the tissue is very elastic, it's very stretchy. So so there's a lot of a lot of truth to to that. To answer your question. Yeah, yeah, so the reason I was asking was I actually benefited from die lators, like using those, and it's something that I've talked to friends about and a lot of them didn't even know those were a thing. So have you found those helpful for some patient. Yeah, I mean I am. I'm a big fan of dilators. Just...

...for people that don't really know, I mean for the so for the opening. And you know, it can be that you have infrequent partners or you know your partner has a really large girth or length, or your virgin or your imperimenopause or menopause, and that opening is smaller. So a dial lator really is meant. You know, you sort of do some homework and the increase in size at the at the entrance. They have a sort of a gradual dilation effect and you lay down. Now I created some I don't know if you know this, Melanie. I created dilators that you can wear. One of the downsize for dilators was you have to lay down for minutes twice a week or three times a week. and Um, a patient said to me, now if I have to lay down, Dr Sherry, I'm either sleeping or dead. So I contacted these dilators that are really like that were medical grade silicone and you could at least sit at the computer. You could, you know, Cook Dinner, you could go for a walk and where. The dialators a huge linked to this in the show notes that's amazing. So basically, it's like the way it shaped. It's just more comfortable. So, yeah, the base. I made a base and I didn't make them as long because you didn't really like a lot of times the entrance is where the discomfort is. So it's sort of, you know, ergonomically curved and it goes up in gradual sizes. Five. I mean I have actually up to eight sizes. So one of the things we see too is, you know, the average girth this summer around, you know, five inches of a male. You know, to have a partner that's large is terrible for some women. Right. So it's it's there. Are Are dilators that help the vagina have a little more recall, you know, at the entrance. My mom is probably gonna shut her if she sens to this episode. That's why. Yeah, that's why I was using the dilators. That's amazing. I wish I had known about about your brand. What's the brand called? Theology? Yeah, so actually, the average girth is four point eight centimeters. Four point eight. Okay, awesome. So so, Um, you're the dilators. They go up to past that to accommodate past that. Yeah, yeah, actually, four centimeters inches. Oh my God, that can be four point eight inches. Yeah, but you know, they always say bigger is better, and I mean that's so not true. I think men started. Yeah, I was gonna ask you that. I had a conversation again with a male friend actually yesterday about this topic and I was like, men think that women like love this bigger is better, and I'm like, I have not. I mean I'm sure some women like if nobody I've talked to friend wise has felt that way. Well, they did this study and they looked at, you know, what women liked, you know, in a penis and and at the end result it had to do not with length but with thickness, that women preferred a more fuller feeling then length. I actually got a question about that. A listener wanted to know if, lengthwise, can it be too long and can that happen with the Vasional Wall? Yes, it's sure can. I've had a few people have horrible lacerations in the back of the vagina with long penises. Yeah, especially if you're in menopause or you know, or vaginal dryness. It can. It can tear the delicate tissue of the vagina. Would you know because because, like you would know. You, yeah, you would know. Like, should sex be painful? Is it sometimes a little bit painful but it's not actually an issue? Well, that's a really good question, you know, because sex should really never be painful when you think about it. So I think it really depends on the cause. Right. So if we're talking about persistent painful where it's always painful, like women are were so used to just like, you know, biting down on or biting down and not really complaining, because and there's many causes of many causes of painful intercourse, you know. I mean it could just be positional, right, positional sex with deeper penetration from behind, let's say doggy style. You know, that could be more uncomfortable for women. It could be better to sort of get to the clitterest better, but it could also cause discomfort or you can have certain skin condition or you know, there's all kinds of reasons of pain, but it shouldn't be, you know, you should not really have pain with sex. How do you feel about masturbation and vibrators and that whole topic? Should women be masturbating daily for health benefits? You know, masturbation is, I mean everyone should be masturbating, for sure. It's just so important to do at a at an early age. You know, so you you really know your roadmap...

...right. That's so important. It's very part of just general life and health and and and so on. I mean, you know, can you ever masturbate too much? Some people do it to go to sleep because there's so many benefits of an orgasm right. It's very calming and it's like a stress anxiety. It's good for well being. I mean it helps with cramps and people really people love it. I think you always have to be careful that you don't over masturbate where you know you have a harder time with your partner or preference, you've been going to work or school. You know then that then that might be too much, but I think it's it can be really it's self love. You know, it's a good way of knowing your roadmap. It's important to to know so you can tell your partner what feels good and what doesn't. You can get your extra virsion coconut oil, Melanie, use that. It's you know, it's just really it's it's it's important and I think it's important to do at a young age. Can every woman orgasm in theory, or can some women just not orgasm? Well, ten women don't orgasm, can't you know? I think you know that the struggle with women that don't orgasm. You know, it's it kind of goes back to so many things about, you know, educating, giving permission. That that whole thing of upbringing and you know and what we can do and maybe there's a growth in it, you know, a conversation of education, but I think it really does go to your upbringing and your partners and how you feel about sex and you know, because our ability to be sexual is so mental. It's so, so mental, and it all starts with that. So when you close your eyes to relax, you know, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about how this feels so good? Are you thinking about, you know, what your mother is going to think of you or your grandma, you know? Or was there any abuse? I mean there's just it's so complicated, but it's it's important to figure it out sooner than later if there is any dysfunction, because a lot of women have sexual dysfunction, I mean low libidos. A lot up to women do, and there's so many layers as to the why, but there are, you know, specialists out there that that can help you and and I think it's it's it's a you know, like like anything, part of our well being, an intimate life is very important. How much do you think sexual identity and gender is connected to all of that that you just spoke about? And and also how does it inform, going back to the very beginning of the conversation, like a guy in a cologist visit? How much does a person's sexual identity and the sex of their partner inform what they need to be like looking for in the visit? And do you have thoughts about that whole relationship? So let me be sure I know you a question like the sexual relationship we have with ourselves, how that affects, you know, going I guess it's a two part question to the first part is the comfort and the shame aspect and the education. How much do you think that informs a person's sexual identity or gender identity? That would be the first question. I think the confirmation and reassurance that a health care provider can give someone that's unsure, let's say, you know, or how they judge or shouldn't judge or guide is really, really important. I mean, you know, Dr Relationship is is often the first where you're speaking honestly, hopefully and and you don't want to feel judgment or shame. Goes back to finding the right doctor, finding not not just anybody. You can't just pick anyone that's on your insurance list anymore. You need to find someone that has the good reviews, it's going to be a good listener, that is going to accept you as you are and and maybe give you referrals for other people that can help you. If you're questioning your your gender identity. You know, do I like my body? Do I like what I have? There's all interface with enjoying sex and enjoying intimacy. Hi, friends, so what I'm about to say may include some disturbing content, so if young ones are listening, you may want to skip ahead. On Valentine's Day two I experienced sexual battery by a man at a massage parlor. I felt so helpless and so scared while it was happening and afterwards I was really, really scared to tell anybody. I am so glad that my friends encouraged me to tell the lease and I'm so glad that the police believed... and that the man is now in jail. And ever since sharing my story, you guys have been so supportive. So many people have applauded me for telling the police, saying that something like that had happened to them too, and they never told anybody. I started looking into the statistics and they are pretty shocking. So sexual assaults are most likely the most prevalent crime in the US and they are also the most underreported. Every sixty eight seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, so I was one of those. Every nine minutes that victim is a child. Meanwhile, only twenty five out of every one thousand perpetrators will end up in prison, and only five percent of sexual assault reports filed have ever been proven false. Two percent of all juvenile sexual assault victims are female. Of Adult Rape Victims are female, and in two thousand nineteen over six hundred and fifty two thousand, six hundred and seventy six women were raped and nearly one million women were victims of sexual assault. I believe they is a huge, huge problem happening in our society. It's one of the crimes where there's not usually evidence. It's not like a physical object was stolen or somebody outwardly injured or killed. It's basically your word against the perpetrator, and so it can be really, really scary to tell somebody and stand up for yourself, but I want to encourage you that we can change this. We can speak up. So if something happens to you, I encourage you. Please, please, tell somebody. I promise you you're not crazy. The thing that really convinced me to go to the police was it wasn't so much about me, but about stopping this man from doing this to somebody else. If you feel like someone crossed the boundary, they probably did. People don't usually question things that are appropriate and normal, and as parents, I encourage you to have these conversations with your children in whatever time and way you feel comfortable. I think we can make change here. It's just about spreading awareness and taking a stand and speaking out. So thank you everybody so much for the support. I love you all. You are amazing and let's change this. So, like I always say, you got this. Okay, back to the show and one more question related to that. So I've actually become really passionate. On Valentine's Day I actually experienced sexual assault from a massage therapist. So I've become, like, very passionate about spreading awareness about this. Is that something common at all with kynecologist visits with doctors? Well, you know, a lots lots happened with the me too movement. A lot of doctors have really had to become accountable for inappropriate touching and activities that weren't considered appropriate. I think it's important a couple of things. I mean, this goes into being your best health care advocate. You kind of have to know what's normal, what's expected of that visit, because you don't know, and I think if you're with a male or female, I don't think it matters. I just think you should always have a nurse chaperone in the room, no matter what, no matter what, because why not? You know, I think it's important. It's for your comfort, it's for your security and I think it's really really important because you you don't know what's normal. I mean you know. I know you've all heard the stories of some really screwed up things happening because people just didn't know. So, knowing what to expect me now you kind of I've written a lot on you know what you should expect during a G I N exam, but I I think it's out there on good, reliable resources, whether it's, you know, Mayo Clinic, web MD, there are some really good sites, or repetable magazines that talk about what should you expect when you go the kind in college for the first time. You you are in control. You don't have to believe me, you don't have to have an exam or get undressed during the first visit. In fact you shouldn't. You know, it could just be going to meet them to see if you if you feel comfortable, and I think that's really, really important and definitely you don't have to ever, and shouldn't maybe the first few times until you built some trust with your healthcare provider. Well, I cannot thank you enough for what you're doing with with all of this, and I mean you even so. You notice. I'll maybe let you tell the story, but you notice some of the issues with the stress is at the ECHO cardiogram test. So can you tell listeners a little bit about your one of four women die of heart disease and we are really the first doctors that identify women at risk. So one of my patients Jennifer Beale's her dad had died from her a stroke at sixty three and I sent her at fifty to go get a stress Echo cardiogram and she was so excited because she's really competitive and athletic and you know she she told me she went down there, she had her sports brawl and all her little compression things and you know, you you get on the uni first you get an ultrasound and then you get your fires hooked up and then you move over to a stress.

You know, get on a treadmill. That's, you know, moving and you have to get your heart rate up to pent it's normal, normal baseline. Anyway. So they made her take to her Bra and she was appalled. She had a run on the echo stress test. She said my boobs were flying over the place. She's like and I have a c seacup, you know, and she just said I just couldn't believe it. So she called me and she's like, you know, we need to do something about this. So she and I patent did a Bra that women can wear during an ECO stress text it's not your regular Bra because of all the wires and how the regular Bra would affect the tracing from the wires as you're doing this running. So we've actually, you know, we we patented. We're having a little bit of a hard time getting it out there through the medical space because of insurance and because the priority of women. And you know, you think women should be running on a Bra braw lists on these test like, can you imagine a guy not being able to wear, you know, a Jock strap? Yeah. Well, so, any of your listeners have any connections to some of the Phillips that makes the echo stress tests, or anyone any very rich aunt or uncle that believes in the cause of breast health and, you know, breast disease? You know? Let me know. No, this is amazing. I'm gonna Think about this and I'm putting that out to the universe. Thank you. Thank you for doing that. Yeah, so right now, the situation with it right now is it can people buy it? So broad they can. They can buy it from heartland to Bra it's they can actually buy it if they're if they're interested. Yeah, I have them here and ship them. Okay. Well, we will put a link to that in the show notes. And, Um, how do you feel? I got a lot of questions from listeners about the Mona Lisa. How do you feel about that? So Mona Lisa is great. It's kind of like a derm abrasion of the inside of the vagina and the outside, like like we do our face. It's not for women really that that have good estrogen stores, because you're not going to be dry over forty. You know, where you lose estrogen, the vagina gets very, very dry, very dry, because estrogen is gone, and it's a great hydrator. So the Mona Lisa Laser is actually three treatments six weeks apart. That the cells are a laser and it by doing so it increases blood flow and Collagen production. It helps also with some of the bladder symptoms these women get. It's very, very it's a great method. It's, you know, in part of something you should be doing, along with vaginal estrogen, which I'm a big, big fan of as well, for all the problems that women in paramenopause and menopause get. So I love it. It's great. I think. Only downside not covered by insurance, so it can be costly. And the vaginal estrogen, and you talked about this at length in the book, so listeners can definitely get your books to learn more. But the topical estrogen does not have the concerns that people might have about the oral is that correct? Right now? Zero risks of any breast cancer or varying cancer. It is every vagina over forty, I mean over well over fifty, let's say over fifties, should be using vaginal estrogen because it is the way you moisturize inside the vagina. Okay, and with lasers. IS LASER HAIR REMOVAL? Okay, is it safe? Is it is removing all the hair is there, or is there a purpose for that hair? Well, you know, it's really up to the person. I mean the long story of, you know, what is pubic care for? Is One of those things that, you know, we don't really know the purpose of pubic hair. You know, some people thought it was, you know, sort of and we know it. It has a cushion effect, which is sort of Nice, but you know this really we're not really sure that the purpose of it. It does sort of have little pearomones. We know, doesn't really prevent dirt or other germs from getting inside, you know, the vagina. It's a great cushion, of course, for sporting activities like bicycling, but probably the fearomones are one of the things that has sort of like a that that there's a smell that's involved that's can be kind of enticing and erotic to your partner. How you shave or wax or laser is really a personal choice. It's a truly personal choice. Well, maybe a question to end on, since we opened with your personal story. I'm really curious about your what was your experience? Like? You are an egg donor, right? You donated? Yeah, I did. What was that emotional experience like for you, and is it something you would recommend for people to do? Wow, melanie, that's dug that right out of my book. I was an egg donor for patient of mine who had trouble getting pregnant and I was never asked to be one and when I was asked, I was like and I was just I just had had my third son and I was kind of flattered by the thought...

...and I went ahead and did it and it was a great experience. I mean it wasn't, you know, sort of like doing the first half half of an in vitro cycle. So I took some shots for ten days and then, you know, a couple of weeks later they took out a bunch of eggs and and then my patient used them and had twins and to this day, I'm I'm very, very close with the kids and yeah, it was a great experience. It was a very, very great experience. Well, thank you so much. This has been one of the most, I think, helpful, enlightening episodes to dates on this show. I I really cannot thank you enough for everything that you're doing. I mean it is so, so needed, if that has not become a parent yet to listeners. So how can listeners best follow your work? Are you writing any more books? What links would you like to put out there? Yeah, you know, I mean, I'm I love the conversation. I mean I'm I'm constantly trying into talk about issues that we really need to talk about. I'm on Instagram, Doctor Sherry are come follow me, would be great. My websites Dr Sherry Dot Com, and you can see my sexual wellness products that I have, you know, for women, from vibrators too, dilators, anal dilators for those that like anal sex. I mean there's just all sorts of things out there that make women's lives more enjoyable in the bedroom. I appreciate you know, you having me on the show and I love the conversations myself. Well, thank you so much, and this literally is the last question I'm going to ask and it's the question I ask at the end of every single show and it's just because I realize more in reach day the importance of mindset. So what is something that you're grateful for? I'm just grateful for my family, very grateful that I have them around me and I have sort of this very loving family around me. It means everything and everything I do in life I'm inspired by them. All that's sort of good in me comes from my family. So that's that's what I'm grateful for. Awesome. Well, thank you again, so so much. This has been so amazing. I am really excited for all of your future work. Hopefully, when I'm back in L A we can maybe mee, because I would love to meet you and this has been amazing. So thank you. Well, fantastic. Thanks for having me. And and women, you've got to be your best healthcare advocates, so just remember that. Yes, thank you, thanks, Dr Ross, thanks for having me. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to the Melanie avalon bio hacking podcast. For more information, you can check out my book what when wine? Lose weight and feel great with Paleo style meals, intermittent fasting and wine, as well as my blog, MELANIE AVALON DOT COM. Feel free to contact me at podcast at Melanie Avalon Dot Com and always remember you got this.

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